Everyday interactions are part of narrative change

02/29/2024

Narrative change requires repetition at scale – including small-scale 1-1 interactions. When we talk about narrative change, we often focus on the content we intentionally produce. We emphasize the role of media and messages that we test, create and then repeat over and over again. These scalable formats are essential to reach and engage audiences.

One thing we don’t talk about enough is how our interactions in daily life shape narrative change. As we say hello to our neighbor, make small talk in the coffee shop, or catch up with a cousin at the first family reunion since the before-Covid-times, we’re likely to encounter opportunities to shift narratives about people who are unhoused, about asylum seekers or immigrants, or another group of people whose daily lives are at risk because of systematic failures. In a time of intense polarization and pressing demands on communities in a changing world, talking about issues that can be divisive might be the last thing we want to do. But this is an opportunity for relational narrative change through small, personal interactions.

INTERRUPT HARMFUL NARRATIVES

Even a one-sentence response that shows our empathy for people who are struggling can interrupt and reframe people’s opinions. 

If you’re reading this, you’ve probably had an interaction that starts something like this:

SCENARIO 1: NEIGHBOR WHO’S NAME YOU FEEL PROUD YOU’VE REMEMBERED:

“I’m so glad they got rid of those tents down on Central.”

SCENARIO 2: FELLOW PARENT FROM A HIGH-RESOURCE NEIGHBORHOOD STANDING NEXT TO YOU AT SCHOOL FUNCTION:

“I couldn’t find parking because they closed off that street over there. Did you hear they’re building low-income housing? That’s the last thing this neighborhood needs. We’re never going to be able to find parking now.” 

Here’s a simple response to each of these comments:
SCENARIO 1: “I hope the people who were living there are okay because everyone needs a safe place to stay.”

SCENARIO 2: “Hmmm. I hear you’re worried about parking. I’m looking forward to them finishing the building because I’ve been bothered by the number of families on the brink of homelessness and I know those apartments will provide homes people really need.”

There’s a time, place and clear strategic reason to have principled public fights about what’s right and wrong. But research affirms what most of us instinctively know – people don’t change their minds based on our ferocious arguments or the perfect words we learned from some expert source. They are most likely to change their minds when they feel connected with and respected by the person they are talking with. And even though you may not know the person well, the fact that they may see you again will lead them to consider your perspective more than if we put the same message on a social media post.

REDIRECT TOWARD SHARED VALUES

To reach widespread agreement that it’s possible and necessary to solve homelessness and ensure everyone has a quality home they can afford, we need to reach beyond our current “base” of friends and colleagues and build agreement with friends and strangers alike. 

Community organizers use a tried and true canvasing approach of Affirm, Answer and Redirect to connect with people who may disagree with their goals or amplify harmful narratives. Organizers combatting harmful anti-immigrant, anti-poor, transphobic and racist narratives use this approach to build a bridge and invite people to redirect their anger toward the real source of the problem. 

STEP 1: CONNECT

Build an authentic connection — you’re ahead of the game if you’re already making chit-chat in line for coffee or standing watching children on a swing.

Now that you’ve made a connection, here’s where you might hear a comment that’s rooted in harmful narratives. If you decide to redirect their way of thinking, try these next steps:

STEP 2: AFFIRM

Acknowledge what they said and let them know you’re listening. Even if you vehemently disagree with the content of their statement. Phrases like “You’re really concerned” or “Hmm, that’s interesting” allow you to acknowledge what they’re saying and affirm their concerns.  

STEP 3: ANSWER

Answer their questions or concerns in an honest way. An example may be, “Yes, I’ve seen the number of people living outside increase too.” or “Yes, I saw they started construction on that building.” Try to affirm or answer their comment in a way that leans into shared values, even if it relies on the most minuscule grain of shared values, such as “You’re worried. We all want to be safe, I hear that.” or “Yeah, we need to be able to pick up our kid on time.”

STEP 4: REDIRECT

Now is the time to redirect the conversation away from a volley back and forth between their concern and yours and toward curiosity or context that can help them see the situation in a new light. For example, “Ten years ago, people weren’t living in tents on this street. What do you think changed between now and then?” or “I know my rent has gone up a lot over the last few years. It’s happening to a lot of people. Is it a problem for anyone you know?”

STEP 5: BUILD A BRIDGE

Ask questions, remain curious and point out connections or contradictions in what they’re saying. When we do, we have an opportunity to build a bridge they can walk across — away from harmful narratives and into a new way of understanding and belonging within a community of people who are concerned. By building a bridge, even if they don’t change their mind at the time, you have given them an opportunity to visit our side of the narrative ecosystem. 

If they’ve been up for the conversation, thank them for talking and invite them to talk again sometime soon. If they are insistent on saying hateful, harmful things and not open to responding with curiosity and questions authentically, then you can move on with your day. Narrative change requires repeating the central narrative using an array of messages and messengers – even while waiting in line.